from Jen bailey's post
i asked god why life was so horrible and i didn't realize it at the time but about then i found the hypnotic trigger for the first time but decided not to make the word association formed by the two pieces of hardware and threw the cross away and tried to forget it as best as i could
the cross might have been the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
many years later i found the cross with the hardware attached to it again and this time made the word association and became psychotic, but the psychosis helped me quit smoking by becoming vegetarian which opened my eyes to the fact that noone was allowed to eat meat in the bible until the flood, which made me believe god was good, but i had been a cruel psychopath torturing and killing animals without remorse for a double cheeseburger since i was a kid, and that had been why life was so bad
my life got much better when became vegetarian (was able to quit smoking a year later after trying for many years), and even better still when i became vegan (a week after the beginning of which the thing with the jot like ball happened) tho i still yell at the people i see in my mind when they do mean things to me but it is much easier to win when i am vegan than when i am vegetarian (every three months i switch back to being vegetarian because vegans are growing so fast they are causing many cows to be slaughtered and vegans require supplemental calcium and other nutrients)
